Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In a devastating blow to absolutely no one's weekend plans, a new survey has found that most Californians are "indifferent" about the prospect of Kamala Harris running for governor — a finding pollsters described as "brutal," mostly because they…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. Washington has officially entered peak pardon season, with the nation's capital grinding to a halt as everyone in politics simultaneously demands pardons for their friends and jail for their enemies, in what experts are calling "the circle of civic…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In what commentators are calling "the most devastating takedown since someone last used the word takedown," a Sunday morning television interview has been officially classified as a "smackdown," complete with roasts, slams, and at least one moment described as…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. The Lawsuit Heard Round the Filing Cabinet In a dramatic escalation of the nation's paperwork wars, the Department of Justice has filed federal lawsuits against two states for allegedly failing to hand over their complete voter registration rolls. The…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. Sunday Morning Show Host Asks Question; Guest Answers It; Nation Demands Rematch In a shocking break from tradition, a Sunday morning political program featured an actual exchange of views this week, as a host asked a pointed question and…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In what realtors are calling "the most ambitious flip in history," the White House has confirmed that purchasing Greenland is being "actively discussed" by the president and his national security team. The announcement sent shockwaves through the international community,…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. WASHINGTON — House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) held an emergency press conference this week to express his profound fury over a successful military operation, in what aides described as "being mad about the good thing, but like, as…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In what diplomats are calling "the most barrels anyone has ever discussed at one time," Venezuela's interim government has reportedly agreed to hand over between 30 and 50 million barrels of oil to the United States, ending a negotiation…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. Minnesota's Department of Human Services has responded to a blistering audit that found hundreds of millions in poorly monitored grants by announcing a bold new initiative: an audit of the auditors, to be conducted by the same department that…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In a bold new chapter for international relations, the President of the United States has issued a "final warning" to a foreign government — a diplomatic instrument historians note has been deployed approximately 4,000 times, with each one described…
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