Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. WASHINGTON — The House floor witnessed history this week as Rep. Greg Stanton (D-Ariz.) formally requested to "yield back the last five minutes of my life" following a heated exchange with Kari Lake, marking the first time a member…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. Legal analysts are locked in a fierce debate over former President Biden's preemptive pardons, with the central question being: exactly how much does one of these things cover? Jaywalking? Overdue library books? That thing you did in 2019 that…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In what colleagues are calling "the most stunning intellectual breakthrough in Senate history," a California senator has discovered that crime exists, following an incident in which his own luggage was stolen from his car. A Journey of Discovery The…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In a stunning development that political analysts are already calling "the most significant announcement since someone last announced something," a White House press secretary has revealed she is expecting a baby — prompting the nation's media to immediately treat…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. The Strike Teams Are Coming In what officials are calling "the most dramatic federal action since the invention of the strongly-worded letter," specialized strike teams are being dispatched to Minnesota to investigate potential fraud. Sources describe the teams as…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. Press Event Declared Historic by People Paid to Say So WASHINGTON — In what attendees described as "a press conference, definitely," a veteran lawmaker took to the podium this week to deploy a series of dramatic characterizations, sending the…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In a shocking development that geologists are still trying to explain, Senator John Fetterman reportedly "went nuclear" on his own political party during a televised discussion about healthcare subsidies. Seismographs across Pennsylvania detected no actual explosion, but cable news…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. WASHINGTON — Rep. Randy Fine (R-Fla.) announced this week that he is "actively considering" introducing articles of expulsion against Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), a bold legislative strategy that political scientists are calling "thinking really hard about doing something." Fine…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. In a podcast interview lasting five and a half hours — roughly the runtime of three superhero movies and one nap — Hunter Biden delivered a sweeping review of his father's presidency, rating it the way a disappointed customer…
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen. Following a jury verdict against a Milwaukee judge accused of sneaking a defendant out through a restricted courthouse exit, the county has unveiled a sweeping reform: all 47 courthouse doors are now color-coded, numbered, and assigned threat levels, in…
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