She Should Be Terminated by Fox News Tarlov Gets Called Out for Telling Terrible Lie About ICE and Viewers Demand She Be Fired Watch
Satire: this article is a work of parody and humor. The events described did not happen.
The Outrage Machine Hums Along
In a development that has shocked absolutely no one who has ever watched cable news, viewers are once again demanding that a network fire a commentator — the same commentator they tune in to watch every day, whose segments they clip, share, and discuss at length.
"She should be terminated immediately," wrote one viewer, moments before setting a reminder to watch her segment tomorrow. "I will not stand for this," he added, standing for it, daily, at 5 p.m. Eastern.
The Clip
The controversy centers on a video clip, roughly ninety seconds long, in which the commentator said something the viewers found outrageous. The clip has been shared tens of thousands of times by people who describe themselves as "done" with the network, "finished" with the show, and "never watching again, see you tomorrow."
"I'm boycotting," announced one longtime viewer, who has boycotted the network four times this year and has the DVR recordings to prove it.
The Economics of Outrage
Network executives, reached for comment, expressed deep concern while quietly noting that the controversial commentator's segments generate the highest ratings on the channel. "We take viewer feedback very seriously," said one executive, printing the ratings report on premium paper. "That's why she'll be back tomorrow, and the next day, and forever."
Media economists call this "the circle of cable news life": outrage drives viewership, viewership drives revenue, revenue keeps the outrage on air. It is, experts agree, the most stable ecosystem in American media — more reliable than the tides, more permanent than the pyramids.
The Demand
Viewers continue to demand the firing in comment sections, call-in segments, and rival networks' comment sections. The network continues to not fire her. Both sides have declared this arrangement "unacceptable" and "working great," respectively.
The commentator, for her part, has responded to the controversy the way all cable news figures do: by talking about it, at length, on television, thereby generating the exact outcome her critics claim to oppose.
A support group has formed for viewers who are "done" with the network. It meets daily at 5 p.m. Eastern — immediately after the show. Attendance is mandatory, and everyone watches.
